An Open Letter to the Right Reverand Huckabee

Dear Mike,

I am sure that you are a very nice guy, the kind of guy just about any nice girl would love to bring home to meet the parents, and I am pretty sure that you are also a sincere person when it comes to your beliefs. But, well, beyond that, there's only one thing I can add. I also think you are at least three, if not four, cards short of a full deck.

I can imagine the offense you are taking to that last sentence. I suppose my ire would be raised to if someone, especially a complete stranger, said that to me. Well, Mike, I'm sorry dude, but number one, you have put yourself out here for all of us to "know", and we know you according to what you say and do, and dude, you've been saying some doozies!

The major "doozie" that has me thinking you need to step away from that nuclear button you apparently want to own is this idea you have of customizing our constitution to fit you own narrow idea of how this nation should be governed, including whose God to worship and how to worship him. Oh, I am sure that you are ONLY suggesting we put into stone (I thought God already did that with Moses, but hey, what do I know, I'm not the authority on what God thinks like you Baptist ministers and Islamic Imams are) some basic Christian tenants, the same ones you think our founding fathers had in mind when they drafted this document, the same one that makes it clear that the one who runs the show down HERE is Caesar, and NOT God, who I am sure has his hands full with the universe and all. At least that's what Jesus is claimed to have said. You remember Jesus, don't you? Half the time it's hard to accept that any of you people do.

When they coined that term "The Moral Majority" back there in the eighties, the fundamentalist, right-wing conservative Christians had it in there heads that if only they would make enough noise, the rest of God's children would rise up and start exercising their considerable political clout and put things right with our increasingly "godless" government, you know, the one that states in no uncertain terms that there is to be a separation of church and state. Yes, I know, you guys can't seem to "get" what our constitution says about that, but those of us who know how to read and managed to grow up with our critical thinking skills intact DO, and NO, you can't assume that MOST of us want YOU people to hold our hands and tell us what church to go to and how to behave. NO, we do not ALL want our women barefoot and pregnant, and NO, we do NOT want our own version of the Taliban running around loose in the countryside making life a living hell for the rest of us.

Mike, I'd jam with you in concert any day, if you didn't mind having a has-been karaoke wonder as a singer. I'd even have you over for dinner as long as the pagan decor didn't raise the hairs on the back of your neck and set off your need to "save" me in the middle of the tilapia. But President? No, Mike, no way in hell. I know you guys are just ITCHIN' to get Armageddon going so you can all be raptured and all us sinners punished for all eternity, and there's no better way to promote a self-fulfilling prophecy than putting a nut job like you at the helm of the most powerful nation on Earth. I prefer we try and accomplish that OTHER goal you Christians used to really push awhile back before you turned so mean, namely "Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards Men."

Amen to THAT.........